Hot Pockets Side Shots

Hot Pockets are fabulously tasty treats.  Even the moderately more healthy Lean Pocket versions are pretty good.  So imagine my horror when I saw these abominations on my television.

The Hot Pockets Side Shot, in theory, is a microwaveable sandwich with standard Hot Pocket filling inside a soft bun.  Understandably, I  was mortified to see this commercial, which depicts Side Shots as vomit filled little creatures with arms and legs that end in feet covered in tennis shoes.

I mean, they are supposed to be speaking from mouths bursting with disgusting meat filling and we're not supposed to associate that with throwing up?  They are each wearing accessories too, including a wristwatch, a hat, and eyeglasses.  You're telling me Cheeseburger has gone to a fucking optometrist?  Does Buffalo Chicken have some pressing appointments to make?  It's all very unsettling.  One of the little bastards in this video is even too lazy to tie his shoes.  His laziness will not go unpunished for long, however.  More on that in a minute.

I've always been confused by food commercials that portray the food as a living, speaking character.  Back in the 90s there were a bunch of commercials for Teddy Grahams that had the little crackers, which were shaped like cuddly teddy bears, being devoured by children who were first playing with them and acting out little scenes with them.  Pretty morbid stuff.  The Side Shots commercial sort of follows this theme, and after they introduce themselves by referring to the flavor of their filling and identify themselves as brothers, the lazy one (Sloppy Joe) brags about being tastier than the others.  He is rewarded for his boasting by being savagely inhaled by an unseen human as his "brothers" look on in horror.

That brings us to the heart of the matter.  This commercial is neither uproariously funny or particularly annoying.  It's more confusing than anything.  I rarely decide I want to buy a product based off of the advertising for it, but there are many cases where I decide I don't want to buy a product based off of the advertising.  This is an example of the latter.  I can think of no reason why I would want to eat something that they have made look like a bun full of puke, or guts, or God knows what else.  Clearly the person responsible for putting this on TV has never eaten a big ass Chipotle burrito and then drank a dozen or so shots of Jagermeister, or else they would have some idea of how this image might stir negative feelings in some people.  Ultimately this ad isn't awful, just ineffective and mildly disturbing.

Final Grade: C