Miller Lite is all about people "manning up" nowadays, which is absurd in and of itself because it is a completely un-manly beer to drink. They have a whole series of commercials where guys walk up to a bar and order a "light" beer, and when the invariably snarky female bartender asks if they want a Miller Lite or any light beer they respond that they don't care.
This is some really stupid shit. Have you ever heard of anyone ordering a beer and not giving a shit what type they get? The only way I see this happening is if the person says "give me the cheapest beer you have" like my friend Chip always does. But the assholes in these commercials give no qualifier whatsoever, so they apparently just have zero concern about what they put in their mouths. I could really lambast any of the commercials, but the "vortex bottle" edition makes me the most furious.
Supposedly the bottle makes the beer pour out faster and smoother (which for me seems really pointless because I certainly have never needed alcohol to enter my bloodstream more efficiently. I have that handled on my own). The problem with this ad is that you'd never know that because the mean spirited bitch serving drinks states that the only advantage of the bottle is that it "has grooves in it." Why the hell would I want to buy something if I'm not given any benefit of the product?
And I definitely wouldn't stand for the help giving me a hard time about what I drink or wear. If this were real life, and I were the guy in the commercial, I would order about $200 worth of shots and then skip out on the tab, then key the bartender's car and leave a note that says "it has grooves in it."
I don't want you to think I'm on the guy's side. It is deplorable that he wears sunglasses inside. He looks like a half-ass version of Chris Parnell from SNL. The bit where he tries to look at his watch is stupid. His ultimate annoying act comes when he lip syncs the predictably featured Corey Hart song "Sunglasses at Night" at the end of the commercial (which leads me to believe that Mr. Hart is somewhere strung out on non-prescription pharmaceuticals trying to call any advertiser he can to license his one hit song). I can't even type much more because I don't want to have to buy another computer after I destroy this one in a fit of rage.
Finally, if what his friends are doing is considered "manning up," castrate me now because I would rather be a eunuch than live like these assholes.
Final Grade: F
lmao good points
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